Die For You
by D.K. Rhoswen
Summary: Final chapter is up!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a songfic set towards the end of Sleepers but reflects back all that has happened regarding Nikola. Not sure yet if this is the end of this fic or if I want to keep it going, feedback welcome. Hope you enjoy this! =]**

**Lyrics are for the song Die For You by Pennywise.**

Nikola coaxed just enough power out of the Sanctuaries electric grid to power his de-vamper and change the sniveling bratty Laura back into her mortal self. Mortal like him.

_I walk alone_

_Through the shadowed night_

_No place to roam,_

_No end in sight_

_I runaway runaway_

_Nowhere to hide_

_With darkness closing in on me_

_Through the endless night_

Nikola wandered down a hallway of the Sanctuary towards Helen's office, alone. So it had always been. Even back at Oxford when his and Helen's friendship had been strong, he had been alone because she had always chosen Druitt over him. A small smile touched his lips, almost always. The night his transformation into a vampire had really begun, some nights after they had all injected the Source Blood, had been a year anniversary for her and Druitt but she had chosen to sit by his side rather than spend the evening with Druitt. Even in his delirium Nikola had seen the graceful way her scientist's hands had wrung a wash cloth out and then dabbed at his brow with it, the way the light from the disappearing sun had glistened on the perfect golden curls in her hair, and the ever concerned and caring look in her eyes.

Rounding a corner the smile quickly vanished from Nikola's lips as reality came crashing back around him. After the discovery that her betrothed had become Jack the Ripper, Helen had been a complete wreck, on the inside. He had tried to be there for her, but in the end he had left, disappeared, unable to stand it anymore. He loved her so much and she just did not see him that way and probably never would. So he had slipped away and all but lost contact with Helen.

_Never gonna find the truth of it_

_Searching through the end of time_

_Pain is a part of our history_

_But tonight just feels all right_

_I would, I would die for you_

_In troubled times we'll make it through_

_I would, I would die for you_

_Yes you know that I would die for you_

Burying himself in his work he had spent the next decades of his life perfecting electricity, obsessing over it, allowing it to consume him so that he would have to think of Helen and all he really wanted. Nevertheless, when he was at his most desperate hour with all the governmental agencies hunting him ruthlessly she had answered his call. Their meeting at the New York sanctuary had been her idea, and a wise one, for only there would the agents not find him. They sat and brainstormed long into the night. It had been her idea, again, to fake his death. A funeral was, as she put it, the only way to avoid the agents but also allowed him to continue his work without having to fake his age anymore, words that gleamed not only with admiration but just a hint of regret.

He wanted to tell her during that meeting and again before they said goodbye but his cocky and confident front did not give him enough courage to say it. They shared a very brief goodbye a block from the New Yorker Hotel, and parted ways. Helen went towards the Hotel to go about faking his death and Nikola turned to make his way to the airport where a private charter courtesy of Helen was waiting to take him south where he waited out the rest of the war. He had resisted the urge to look back for all of a second before he had swung his head around to catch a final glimpse of her, and, to his surprise found her looking back as well.

_My heart is black_

_Filled with silent cries_

_We can wonder what went wrong_

_But the pain just grows inside_

_Trapped in this memory_

_We live for suffering_

_All is wasted that we want_

_And there is no end in sight_

After almost sixty five or so years he had not been able stand it any longer. His heart ached to just look upon her face again even if it was just from a distance. Just one look would be enough to keep him going at least another couple decades. Cabal hunting him or not, he had to see her, and the perfect opportunity arose as he was hiding out in Germany. He was able to find out that Helen would be taking a trip to Rome, lecturing a group of scientist in the abnormal community. So he had thrown caution to the wind and uprooted himself from his remote hideout and went to Rome. As luck would have it, the Cabal caught wind of his movements and they forced him to act rashly. He drew Helen away from the lecture she was giving and right into harm's way.

There in the catacombs of Rome he had finally told her. That kiss he'd stolen from her had given him the boost he needed. He told her, and as he had suspected for the past century, she recoiled from him as though he were a poisonous snake. It hurt him more than anything had ever hurt him before, but he buried the hurt way deep down within him, right next to the pain he felt about Dane's death. Calling off his mini-me's he intended to tell Helen that he would take her up to the surface again and see to it she made it safely back to her hotel and then disappear from her life forever, but then Druitt appeared with his first through Nikola's gut.

_Never gonna find the truth of it_

_Searching through the end of time_

_Pain is a part of our history_

_But tonight just feels all right_

_I would, I would die for you_

_In troubled times we'll make it through_

_I would, I would die for you_

_Yes you know that I would die for you_

Months later he had heard what the Cabal was up to, and went off to the city of his ancestors to aid Helen in her quest for the Source Blood. He did not expect a warm welcome and he had received none. But he had gotten something he had not expected, a look of pure unbridled concern from Helen while completing his task. In the shock of seeing it he had pointed it out and Helen had denied it but her eyes betrayed her, as always. So he had dutifully played his part, the snarky vampire out for his own skin, when all the while he was there just to help and if something came from it for his benefit, he had figured, so be it.

And help he had. He single handedly halted the Lazarus Virus from spreading by making the cure and personally going to disperse it in the affected areas. He made the only weapon that could combat the super-abnormal's. But it had been because of him Helen was able to kill her own daughter. So again, he fled. He had wanted to be there for Helen but, Druitt was there, and he did not wish be around for what looked like a grand reunion and the official destruction of his immortal heart.

_I would, I would die for you_

_In troubled times we'll make it through_

_I would, I would die for you_

_In troubled times we'll make it through_

_I would, I would die for you_

Surprisingly that had not been the last time he would see Helen. She had showed up at the clinic he had founded where he was planning to reclaim the place of the Vampires as rulers of the world. It had been just his luck that things had gone awry and some brats had figured it out. As mad as he was about his plans being ruined, he was more concerned about what would happen the brats went up against Helen and her gang. His capture had allowed him the opportunity to get in with the brats, earn their trust, and wait. He'd known Helen long enough to know how her mind worked, and her to know his. As he planned, she showed up with the de-vamper and he had undone his mistake.

But it had also been his undoing.

_Tonight just feels alright for me and you_

_Tonight just feels alright for me and you_

_Tonight just feels alright for me and you._

So here he sat, on Helen's couch sipping some wine with her. They were talking and even joking a little with each other like the old times. The discovery of his new powers had eased the sadness that had been wrapping its oppressive arms around them, but only slightly. They talked for a long time in which Nikola watched the way her hands held onto her wine glass, the simple elegant beauty of her smile and even allowed himself a quick glance at those gorgeous legs of hers. Finally the conversation lulled and he felt the call of sleep that his now mortal body needed through a hastily covered yawn. Helen smiled at him and suggested that it was time for both of them to retire for the evening. Nikola grinned at her and agreed, rising to their feet Helen began collecting up the bottle and glasses while Nikola made his way to the door.

He wasn't sure what it was that made him pause in the door way and turn back around. Watching her Nikola followed felt the impulse rise within him and he wasn't sure why he acted on it but he suspected it had something to do with the wine he'd been drinking.

"Helen." He spoke softly.

Helen turned around, a small confused smile playing on her lips as she waited to hear to what he had to say.

"I meant what I said in Rome. I love you, I always have. I'm pretty sure that you have never and probably will not ever feel the same way about me. And I could handle that before, but now that I'm this way…" He trailed off then informed her, "When you wake up in the morning, I'll already be gone."

With that he turned and walked out of her office and this time he didn't look back. He left Helen feeling as heartbroken and alone as Nikola had been his entire life.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Due to popular demand here is a second chapter from Helen's POV. I tried to find a different band for this song but apparently this was just meant to be written using Pennywise. And before the weekend is out chapter three should be up! In the meantime I hope you enjoy this chapter!! =]**

**Lyrics are for the song One Reason by Pennywise.**

Helen carefully examined each bottle before selecting the premier cru smiling at having found the perfect choice. Walking back to her office she pictured Nikola relishing each sip making the smile on her face grow. Until she realized that if Nikola had too much of it he would get drunk because that is what happened when mortals had alcohol.

_You take the best away  
From me then give it all away  
You can't control yourself  
For anyone  
Don't think that you could ever see  
That things are not the same  
You can't control yourself  
For anything_

He'd had never really seemed mortal to her. Even back at Oxford he seemed larger than life itself with his cocky attitude and confident view of his talents, which was actually an accurate view. He was one of, if not the smartest, person in all the classes she audited with him. He had women all over town positively falling over themselves to just talk to him. But Nikola had always ignored those advances to spend time in his laboratory experimenting with whatever had grabbed in his intrigue at the moment, or to spend time with her. Even after her and John began dating and getting serious he still went out of his way to see her, and she did not mind. Working with Nikola was always fun for her. He treated her as an equal and greatly respected her for her mind, and told her he valued her opinion more than once. In fact he had been the one there with her when she had finally been able to make a serum out the Source Blood. She informed him of her decision to take the serum first before she even told John, who was now her fiancé, and he had sat her down and tried with all his might to talk her out of it.

It was, of course, to no avail, she took it, as did he. She remembered the anguished look on his face the day she found him crumpled and only half conscious on the floor of his laboratory when she went looking for after he had not been heard from for many days. Guilt had torn her up inside, and worry became the permanent look on her face as he cared for Nikola through his transformation and her anniversary with John. Then she had found out the truth about John and her heart had been ripped in two. Lost in a sea of betrayal and pain she tried to reach for the hand Nikola offered her, but found herself inexplicably unable to grasp it. And he had disappeared leaving her as alone as she felt, except for the child inside her.

_Give me one reason to stop your fall  
Give me one reason to Answer Your call  
Give me one reason why I should care at all  
_

She dedicated herself to the founding of the Sanctuary and as soon as she could she left England. Setting up shop in Old City of her old friends from Oxford, only James remained in constant contact with her, as he offered to run the London Sanctuary. So she had passed the years alone, having decided she was nowhere near ready to have a child, and quite literally, had all the time in the world. Keeping herself buried in her work with the Sanctuaries Helen buried any feelings she had and started losing all hope to hear from Nikola ever again. Then in mid-1942 she caught wind of a rumor that the genius behind electricity had plans for a death ray weapon. Later that year she got a telegram she never expected. Nikola needed her.

She arranged to meet him at the New York Sanctuary, where no agents from any government would ever find him. Talking long into the night about possible plans, she felt despite the seriousness of the conversation as if nothing had transpired and they had never been separated by distance or years. The whole plan had been her idea, faking his death would allow him to continue his work. She hoped against hope he would suggest working at her Sanctuary but instead he asked for a plane to go south. Saying goodbye a block from the New Yorker Hotel she had the urge to hug him, but had resisted it strongly and only turned around for one last glance at the disappearing back of the person who was the closest thing to a best friend she ever had, and found him looking back as well.

_Don't think you could understand  
But logic rips away  
The mask that you put on  
For everyone  
You feel it slipping from your hands  
Still you manipulate  
You can't control yourself  
For Anything  
_

Almost seventy years passed before she saw him again. She had Ashley, her beautiful daughter and was finally feeling content in her life. Even after John had showed up for her blood that did not matter, the secret of her daughters father was still a secret and now John was dead by her hand. Things finally seemed to even out a bit as much as they could for somebody who was 157 years old. The Cabal also had quieted down and Helen decided it would be fine to lecture in Rome. And then there he was, Nikola Tesla, with that mischievous grin plastered on his lips. Lips, as she had soon found out, that were excellent at kissing.

The kiss took her by surprise, but so did the confession of his love her. She had never expected that. The look on his face as he reached out to her with his hand was one she had never seen on his handsome features before. It was completely unguarded without a trace of the mask he usually wore around, and was just pure sincerity as his eyes glistened with longing and pain. Months after her unexpected, and most likely unneeded, surprise rescue by Ashley and John, Helen could vividly recall the anguish in his eyes as she recoiled from his touch and the harsh words she had spoken. But there was nothing that could be done now, about the regret and the feelings, Nikola Tesla was dead.

_Give me one reason to stop your fall  
Give me one reason to Answer Your call  
Give me one reason why I should care at all  
_

She had never expected to see him again. Then there he was in Bhalasaam, grin firmly fixed on his face and the cocky attitude back. Helen had not been sure what his true intentions were and had kept an air of indifference about her as best she could. Until he went through that blasted tunnel which she was sure would kill him. She tried but had been unable to keep the concern from flashing in her eyes, which much to her chagrin, Nikola had noticed and commented on. She played it off, but when he said "we all hurt the ones we love," she felt something tug at her heart. Burying it quickly before he saw it in her eyes, she put back up the air of indifference, figuring whatever came from his help could hardly hurt. He was, after all, a true genius.

Never could she have guessed he would stick around and help with the Lazarus Virus creating a cure, let alone go and disperse it personally. She greatly appreciated his help, and showed it as best she could by keeping the wine supplied. Some part of her wished to spend more time with him, but the search for her daughter took up all her time. And soon everybody's time as the Cabal unleashed the super-abnormal's on the Sanctuary network. Nikola created the only weapon to combat them. But then she had to kill Ashley. Never before had she felt such agony in her heart, even Johns betrayal seemed like a paper cut compared to this. One night shortly after her daughter's death Helen could bare the pain no more and needed somebody to hold her while she cried. For a reason beyond her comprehension, she found herself outside the door to Nikola's room. Going inside she found it as empty as she felt, and she had collapsed on the bed sobbing hopelessly.

_Let someone look inside at what's  
Behind the mask where you hide  
A mixture of pain and pride the real  
You that's been Denied  
_

Finding him in Mexico was the last thing she expected, though discovering that he had been to his usual tricks with trying to restore vampires had not been surprising to her at all. Nikola getting caught, however, had taken her completely by surprise. Though after knowing him intimately for a hundred years she had known there was a failsafe and as much as she was upset he had used the Bordeaux from Winston, it had made her laugh as it was something that only he would do. She had been relieved to see him alive and even if he was acting like an arrogant ass. When they had arrived he was in full control of his underlings, and she knew then as surely as she did now, that even though they were not what he wanted, he had control of them and only went about de-vamping them because of the threat they posed to her.

And for that she felt guilt.

_  
Won't you give me one reason?  
Give me one reason to stop your fall  
Give me one reason to Answer Your call  
Give me one reason why I should care at all_

So here she sat, on her office couch sipping some wine with him. They were talking and even joking a little with each other like the old times. The discovery of his new powers had eased the sadness that had been wrapping its oppressive arms around them, but only slightly. They talked for a long time in which she observed the way his long elegant fingers twiddled with the wine glass, the playful glint that shone in his eyes when he smiled, and the curve of his lips. Helen smiled at him as the yawn captured his face. She gently suggested that it was time for both of them to retire for the evening. Nikola grinned at her and agreed, rising to their feet Helen began collecting up the bottle and glasses while Nikola made his way to the door.

Continuing her task she could feel his gently gaze watching her from the doorway.

"Helen." He spoke softly.

She turned around, a small confused smile playing on her lips as she waited to hear to what he had to say.

"I meant what I said in Rome. I love you, I always have. I'm pretty sure that you have never and probably will not ever feel the same way about me. And I could handle that before, but now that I'm this way…" He trailed off then informed her, "When you wake up in the morning, I'll already be gone."

With that he turned and walked out of her office and this time he didn't look back. The first pangs of heartbreak racked her body which remained immobile at the thought that when he left she would truly be alone, for the rest of her life.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: first I want to apologize for taking so long to update this but, as some of you may know, I got bit by another plotnubbin and wrote this story called "His Blood." So my apologies on the slow update. I hope you enjoy the end of this story. =]**

**The lyrics are from the song The Longest Time by Billy Joel**

_Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest time  
Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest time  
If you said goodbye to me tonight  
There would still be music left to write  
What else could I do  
I'm so inspired by you  
That hasn't happened for the longest time_

Helen remained where she was for a long couple of moments. He had meant it in Rome, all this time, all these years. She had never been sure exactly what her feelings were about Nikola. They had always been good friends in their own way, but she was never sure if there was more. Since his return in the past year or so her feelings had become even more unclear and now, after everything, they were painfully obvious to her. But she had not found the courage to say anything all evening, she had come close but always backed down not really sure where he stood. And then he had said he meant it. Placing down the glasses and the bottle back down on the table she walked out of her office.

If he got to make a few confessions, then so did she.

_Once I thought my innocence was gone  
Now I know that happiness goes on  
That's where you found me  
When you put your arms around me  
I haven't been there for the longest time_

Nikola returned to his room, each beat of his heart brought a new throbbing pain to his body. Safely in his room, away from Helen, he took a long look around. The few belongings he had were in their perspective places as he had left them. Going to the closet he took out his bag and began to pack everything away except a set of clothes for tomorrow and night clothes. Coming to the dresser he opened the top drawer and took out the passport, and ticket. This would his last night in the west because in the morning he would go to the east, and back to his first home. He had decided to die in the country of his birth.

Then he heard the clicking of heels stop before his door.

_Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest time  
Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest  
I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall  
And the greatest miracle of all  
Is how I need you  
And how you needed me too  
That hasn't happened for the longest time_

Not sure who it was Nikola padded quietly over to stand before the door, awaiting the knock of whoever was on the outside. Helen lifted her hand to knock, but then hesitated, her mind a race of thoughts and doubts. A battle raged between her logic and her emotions for what seemed an eternity, but finally one side won.

Nikola swung open the door, after the soft rap, to the most unexpected surprise of his life. She looked up at him, her jaw set in place with determination and her eyes pooled with uncertainty.

"Helen." He said quietly, hiding his surprise.

"Nikola."

Neither spoke for a moment, they just simply looked at one another. Then Helen murmured,

"You can't go."

He looked at her stunned but managed to say,

"Why not?"

There was another moment of silence. Nikola waited for answer, certain that he would get an answer pertaining to needing to stick around in case he was needed to help save the day again, or something along those lines. Helen shifted her weight and Nikola noticed a slight tremble in her bottom lip, and he looked up to her eyes and saw them glistening in the light.

"I don't want to be alone."

_Maybe this won't last very long  
But you feel so right  
And I could be wrong  
Maybe I've been hoping too hard  
But I've gone this far  
And it's more than I hoped for  
_

Helen blinked in the silence after she spoke and felt a tear trickle down. Instinctively Nikola reached up with one hand and wiped it away. He went to pull his hand away but Helen reached one of her own hands up and pressed his hand onto her cheek. At first touch Nikola tensed beneath her hand, but then relaxed as she caressed his hand with hers and leaned her face into his hand.

They stayed like this frozen for a moment longer. Nikola removed his hand from Helen's face and told her a low tone,

"You've never been alone Helen. And when I'm gone, you'll still have Will and Henry and …the new girl…"

"Nikola that's not…"

"No Helen," Nikola cut her off, "I need to go."

_Who knows how much further we'll go on  
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone  
I'll take my chances  
I forgot how nice romance is  
I haven't been there for the longest time_

Helen took a step closer and took both of Nikola's hands in her own, peering deep into the ashen ocean of his soul.

"I know why you want to go back to Serbia," and here she did not fail to miss the surprise in Nikola's eyes that she knew exactly where he was going, "I realize how terrifying facing your mortality is for you but I don't think you realize how much it terrifies me as well."

Nikola found it incredible he could breathe, but then his brain kicked in and began wondering, doubting. In the following silence Helen tightened her grip around Nikola's hand. He responded by squeezing hers back and finally saying,

"Helen, what are you trying to say?"

"You've been one my closest friends all my life, and I have always cared about you Nikola, always. But it was not until recently I realized just how much."

_I had second thoughts at the start  
I said to myself  
Hold on to your heart  
Now I know the woman that you are  
You're wonderful so far  
And it's more than I hoped for_

Nikola slipped his hands from Helens and took a pace back into his room. He ran a hand over his face, through his hair to rub the back of his neck letting out a long frustrated sigh. Helen took a step inside after him, folding her arms, confused and nervous, her mind a race with a thousand thoughts. Then he looked up at her and said,

"This is exactly why I have to go!"

Steadying his breathing he walked up to her. Cupping her face in his hands, bringing himself inches from her, he told her,

"Helen there was a time when I would have done just about anything to hear those words from you," Then he leaned almost impossibly closer, their lips inches apart murmuring, "there was a time when I would have gladly accepted everything those words offer," he leaned back releasing her face and saying, "But I cannot be sure I could survive it if and when Druitt returns and you go running back into his arms."

Nikola turned away and returned to his previous task hoping that his words and his ignoring her would cause her to turn, shut the door, and walk away. Instead all he heard was her say,

"I only dated him because he asked first."

_I don't care what consequence it brings  
I have been a fool for lesser things  
I want you so bad  
I think you ought to know that  
I intend to hold you for the longest time_

Nikola picked his head up to look at her. Helen gave him a sad smile,

"I wanted you too, and I would have said yes. I couldn't wait for you. Marriage was something I wanted at some point and by the time John asked to start dating me I thought I didn't have time to wait for you to ask, ironically." She took a step towards him, "Even after he and I started dating, some part of me hoped that you would say something. And then," she sighed, "and then everything else happened."

He shook his head at her, and to clear his own thoughts but Helen knew what he was thinking and cut him off,

"I said it before Nikola, I always cared about you but it wasn't until the past year I realized that I have loved you all along."

There was a pause, Nikola was speechless, and Helen just stood there watching him, waiting for his reaction. He just shifted his weight a little, looking for the right words but none came quickly enough for Helen, who spoke again,

"I made a mistake saying yes to him, I should have waited for you."

She saw his reaction easily this time. Looking into her eyes as he walked over to her he could see the regret written there, and then as he came to stand inches from her he could see hope and longing appearing. He looked down, reaching with one hand to take one of hers and used the other to hold her face.

"Helen, are you sure," He whispered, "you're not going to get much time with me…"

"Well then," she smiled quietly, "why are we wasting time talking."

He smiled back and both of them leaned in pressing their lips together gently.

_Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest time  
Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest time_

_Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest time  
Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest time_

Abandoning Helen's hand Nikola slipped his arm around her waist and, with the hand on her face, pulled her to him. Helen moved her arms and wrapped them around Nikola's neck and leaned into him with all her weight. They remained draped around each other until the need to breath overcame their desire. Pulling back Nikola trailed a finger slowly down the side of Helen's cheek to graze his thumb across her bottom lip.

"I still have to go." He told her, his tone none to subtly suggesting otherwise.

"I know," she breathed.

She leaned to his ear and whispered,

"But now at least I know you'll be coming back."

Kissing his cheek she slid from his grasp and glided to the door, where she stopped. She looked back, smiling and laughing a little,

"Be careful Nikola, you are mortal now after all."

And as she disappeared around the corner she heard him calling,

"When I get back I'm going to have to teach you some manners Helen!"


End file.
